Welcome To Howard Bernstein's Home Page
"Wasting Your
Time Since 1998"
This page was created in 1998, and stands today as a monument to bad taste.
Over 467,853,110,964,321,583,011,668 Bytes Served
This is just another display of completely useless, self-serving banality, a/k/a/ "THE PERSONAL WEB PAGE."
Welcome. Stay awhile. Have fun, but please clean up your own mess before you leave.
Are you prepared??
There are only...
Ok, now I realize that all that Y2K stuff turned out to be the biggest non-event since the opening of Al Capone's Vault, (thank you, Geraldo), but rest assured that Y3K will not be nearly as benign. Experts predict that not one single computer in use today will survive Y3K! But now, for a limited time only, I am offering a COMPLETE Y3Kcheckup of your PC for the ridiculously low price of $49.95. Don't wait until the last minute and be caught off guard. Isn't your peace of mind worth a mere $49.95? Prices are sure to go up the longer you wait, so don't put it off. And best of all, through the miracle of modern computers all you have to do is send me your E-Mail address, (along with a check for $49.95) and I can check your PC for Y3K compliance right through your E-Mail! No need to clean the house so a technician won't know what a slob you really are. No unplugging miles and miles of cables that you have no shot in hell of putting back where they belong. Everything is done neatly and efficiently through the marvels of modern electronics. So don't hesitate, send your check for $49.95 today to the address below. You won't be sorry! I know I won't.
To further our ongoing attempt to relocate money from your pocket to ours, we proudly accept VISA, DISCOVER, MASTERCARD, and AMERICAN EXPRESS.
New!!!! Bluescat.net merchandise for the truly fashion conscious HERE!!
You Really Should Have Internet Explorer 6 To See All The Cool Stuff
This page has
been visited by
idiots who have stumbled upon it while trying to access a
pornographic website.
*For those that slept through High School or are merely exhibiting signs of early Alzheimer's, this quote was the first electric long distance message ever sent, by the inventor of the telegraph, Samuel P. Morse. Do you get it now? Huh?
OK, here's the "Good Stuff" I promised. You know what I'm talking about. But before I can let you go any further I need to verify your age. I hope you'll understand, it's a legal thing and we've all got to cover our butts, and keep the Internet safe for all.
Click On The Little Feller' For Some Fun
The End
Really
I Wasn't Kidding!
Leave Me Alone!
Click on the eyeball for the best search site on the web
Last updated on 08/31/09 by someone with far too much time on their hands. Whoever it was that said "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" must have seen this page. Thanks for visiting. If you enjoyed yourself here please tell your friends, if not.............then the hell with you.
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